Posted August 17th, 2011 at 5:22PM
I know that the following tale sounds like total crap, but I can not stress enough that it actually took place. I somehow created some form of life within my computer.
Having a lot of time on my hands I went into paint on my computer a couple weeks ago and began the process that would somehow imbue my machine with a malevolent life all it's own. I gave it a face. I started with a black background, and in bright green I etched a pair of square eyes. I filled them in blue, added square pupils, and gave it a red line on a green rectangle for a mouth.
It was very crude, with simple line eyebrows, and was reminiscent of "Rudy" from the Jetsons.
I then copied this picture a load of times and changed the copies into different positions. I ran them through Movie Maker and it would move on it's own, but I had to test it. I cut up a few clips of it and added a song that it would seem to "sing", a copy of the Del Vikings Whispering Bells.
The video started out and the screen smiled and blinked and began to move it's mouth with the words, blinking and rolling it's color changing eyes with the rhythm. My new "Program" was working perfectly! It was so good that I decided to make more clips of it doing different expressions and make it my screensaver.
That was when it seemed to become self aware. A few times the machine started itself up-- I swear!-- and began to sing on it's own, opening to the face program.
I came in one of these times to shut it off, and it promptly exited the program on it's own, but before I could shut it off, the stove beeped. My food was ready. (I had been making dinner.) I ate, washed up, and remembered the computer. I went in to turn it off and when I arrived I found it's crude simple face on Screensaver mode was sneering maliciously.
Its brows were sunken in and it smiled cruelly. I hadn't programmed it to do this, and it seemed to know, because as soon as I saw it it switched to rage (which I actually HAD programmed) and then quickly went into it's bright happy smile, as if to say with fake innocence "Oh-- Hi! Didn't see you come in! what's up buddy?" Screensaver wouldn't let me put any sound with it, but it moved it's mouth silently, smiled again, blinked several times, and waggled it's eyebrows at me.
I knew in my gut that something was hinky here, so I pretended to turn around briefly and suddenly spun back. The cruel grin again. This time the thing made no attempt to hide its "life" from me, and began to move it's mouth still with the same programmed expression!
I stepped forward to hit the power button and it suddenly flipped to the song again and began to blast it at full volume from the speakers. It hadn't been on full before.
Now fully freaked I began to pound on the brain trying to hit the start/stop button.
Now it went back to screensaver and smiling sweetly once again, it activated the narrator, and began to bleat "Warning-- Dead-- Warning-- Dead-- Warning..." It could not have been doing this! No sound in custom screensavers! I finally got it shut down, and later deleted both the programs! Now it works fine, But I swear it's all true!